With shows starting to get their episode orders cut (looking at you, Dads), I thought it would be a good time to again pitch some shows.
Proctor Who: A dapper man travels throughout time and space stopping people from cheating on tests.
Nude Girl: A quirky young woman goes WAY too far to try to get her male roommates to like her.
Shaved by the Bell: A competition reality show in which teams race to shave their partner using a straight razor before time, or their partner’s blood, runs out.
The Bitches of Eastwick: A Real Housewives spinoff
You’ve Got Male: A hidden camera show in which couples are originally told they are having a daughter, then “surprised” in the delivery room.
Group Interview with the Vampire: A very old, yet well-preserved gentleman has to search for a retail job due to his family’s estate being lost in an economic downturn.
Juan Dies at the End: A Spanish language reality show in which a group of young men spoil movies to people waiting in line to see them.
Before I start, I am not against religion or religious people. When I lived out in San Diego, I was a member of a fantastic church, with many tremendous people who would never dream of doing something like this. A Christian church should promote being Christ-like, and that’s what the church in San Diego did. That church did amazing things for the community, as well as provided life-changing support for people in Mexico.
With that disclaimer out of the way, the church in the video above is a scam. This minister is a con man. He would fit in perfectly in an updated version of The Canterbury Tales.
First of all, let’s start with the reason for the “aviation division” of this church. The good Bishop needs to fly to each of his churches, six in total, throughout the state of Texas. You know, like a franchise. Like Chuck-E-Cheese.
Arrogant much? You’re a minister, not a prophet. Do you mean to tell me that you are the ONLY one who can provide guidance to the thousands of church members each week? Just you? You can’t, you know, train people? If you’re running your church like a franchise, at least have a little faith in your store managers.
Let’s leave that aside for a moment and move onto the most heinous part of this entire story. The bishop promised his congregation that “when you sow a $52 transportation favor seed believing in 52 days or 52 weeks you will experience breakthrough favor!”
What is this guy, God’s pimp? Does he sell pig bones on eBay claiming they are the bones of St. Peter?
Also, 52 days or 52 weeks? That’s a PRETTY big difference. Why not throw 52 years in there. That way, they’ll be dead before they realize you swindled them.
I’ll ignore that the phrasing of his statement sounds like it comes off of a Chinese food menu. This type of language is the language of the con man. He’s selling snake oil, but it’s worse because he’s claiming it’s holy snake oil. The idea that if you just give money to the church, you will become wealthy is the polar opposite of Christ’s teachings.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t do things. Of course you should. You should help other people every chance you get. But you do it because it’s the right thing to do, not because you’re hoping to get a Cadillac in exchange for feeding the hungry.
Remember that part of the Bible when Jesus said, “If you help a brother out, I’ll help you build up riches on Earth?” No, you don’t, because it’s not in there. In fact, the exact opposite ideas are in there.
Matthew 19:21 says, “Jesus answered, ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’”
If you’re playing along at home, that’s the exact opposite of this “Prosperity Gospel” nonsense that many of these megachurches preach.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting your worship service to be as good as possible in order to attract people to hear the message. But only up to a point. i don’t know exactly where the cutoff is, but it’s pretty long before “Establish aviation division for church.”