Ten Things That Made Me Want to Stick My Head in an Oven This Year – #9. The Snuggie
9. The Snuggie – On the one hand, I have to hand it to the person who invented the Snuggie. Not since the Pet Rock has someone made so much money selling something so ridiculous.
It Looks Ridiculous – There’s a reason that people hadn’t made wearable blankets before. It’s one of those ideas that sounds great in theory, but looks ridiculous in actuality. “Wouldn’t it be great if I could experience the warmth of a blanket, without having to worry about it falling off when I move about?” Yeah, I guess it would. I also wish I could experience that level of warmth throughout daily life, but it would look ludicrous for me to drive around with a blanket on. It looks no less ridiculous walking around your house.
I have no way to prove this, but I believe that the only men who have ever worn a Snuggie of their own free will are the men in the advertisements and on the packaging. According to the commercial, it’s perfectly acceptable to wear The Snuggie to sporting events. If I was a high school athlete, I would buy Snuggies for the parents of all the opposing team’s players. It would be easy to win the game with the other team dying of embarassment that their parents are wearing a Snuggie in public. The only place I can see this outfit fitting in is a religious service in the woods where there is a large bowl of Kool-Aid served as the culminating activity.
What Is The Point? – Doesn’t most heat escape through your head? Why isn’t there a hood on the Snuggie? What about your hands and feet? Aren’t they going to get cold when you try to do something like reach for a telephone or eat ice cream while watching Lifetime movies? This is exactly like every product sold on television. They market it to you by insulting your intelligence. “Are you so stupid that you can’t open a can without slicing your jugular? Well, the Easy-Open is for you!” If your blanket is slipping when you’re on the couch, get a bigger blanket. Or get two! You’re welcome.
Something Like This Already Exists – It’s called a bathrobe. It’s something that’s made out of warm material, is wearable, and culturally acceptable. Plus, nobody thinks it’s OK to wear a bathrobe to a sporting event.
The List so far:
10. Annoying Facebook Behavior
9. The Snuggie
You should see the youtube takeoff… it’s not that good about the snuggies but the one about the sham wow is perfect.
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