Jimmy Wellington
The creator of The Fake news, comedy writer, gadfly. Everything here is original content (except for a few reblogs here and there)
-
That’s gonna leave a mark
As Friday, April 1st progresses, an increasingly agitated and alarmed Obama administration is frantically trying to convince the public that an asteroid is heading towards Earth, and people need to act quickly to avoid the annihilation of the human race.
The asteroid was first discovered at 2:00 this morning, when an observer at the Palomar Observatory saw an anomaly in the sky. Upon closer inspection, he discovered that the anomaly was a large asteroid traveling towards the planet’s surface.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” said Jim Ross, the observatory employee. “It’s the type of event you prepare your whole life for, but hope never actually happens.”
Ross’s excitement turned to panic when he glanced at the calendar.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he remembers saying as he noticed that today was April Fool’s Day, the one day set aside for trying to trick one’s friends and family into believing lies.
Ross rang up his boss, who then informed his boss, who then informed the Obama administration that a potential asteroid impact was likely. Each had to spend at least 5-10 minutes convincing the person they were calling that they were not joking.
“I waited until Jim had told me about the asteroid,” said Nate Wilson, Ross’s immediate supervisor. “Then, I waited ten seconds after screaming and cursing in surprise. When he didn’t say ‘April Fools!’ I began to think he might be serious.”
Once the President learned of the potential impact, he acted quickly to warn Congress.
