jimmywellington.com

Citing “being really bored” and “Dick Cheney dared me to” as reasons, George W. Bush – leader of the free world – joined the millions of people that have posted their photo on the HOT or NOT website, and the nation’s computer savvy citizens have this to say: He’s a major babe!

We have no idea how his picture could have got on HOT or NOT. No, really.

Bush says that he never checks his rating, because he “just did it as a big joke”. However, an independent review reveals that someone from the domain www.ovaloffice.whitehouse.gov has checked the profile’s rating 1423 times in the last 2 days.

The site’s function is so simple that people have been kicking themselves for years, wondering why they couldn’t have thought of it first. Insecure people post a picture to the website, and then rate others’ photos, using a number system ranging from 10 (HOT) to 1 (NOT).

President Bush’s current rating is 9.3, however part of that could be partially due to his “pimpin’ his shit” to his friends and relatives, using his direct link listed here.

HOT or NOT (www.hotornot.com) has been abuzz for the past three weeks, with as many as 7 people doing a double take while rating pictures.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes, I was all like, ‘Dude, that’s like the president and stuff.’ Joey told me that he kinda looked like a chimp. Then we got high”, said teenager Matthew Quentin.

In the past, the online citizens of HOT or NOT debated whether or not comedian Carrot Top had actually posted his picture as a desparate publicity stunt. The picture led to clamors for a new rating of “0″, however the rating system stayed intact. Jim, one of the founders of the site explained: “Introducing a new variable that revolutionary would have shattered these people’s fragile little minds.”

Ex-Vice President Al Gore has tried to submit his photo for inclusion, however he has been informed that his picture is too large for the site to accept. He plans to increase his diet regimen and try again next month.

American leader George W. Bush announced on Wednesday that he was relieved to still be president following the elections of November fifth.

Bush: This is what a housey looks like!

“I’m glad that the American people went to the polls yesterday and made their voices heard. They were loud and clear in their support for a Republican run government, as well as their desire to have myself as the point man for that government, if you will. I will do my best to prove that the American people have made a wise choice by re-electing me as your President.”

At that point, President Bush opened the floor to questions from the White House Press Corps. An excerpt follows.

Keith Washington: New York Post – “So, Mr. President. First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your re-election, you must be very proud.”

President Bush – “Why are you snickering, Keith?”

KW – “Sorry Mr. President, I just remembered a joke that Christiane Amanpour told me yesterday. Back to my question. Can you say a few words about your opponent in this election?”

President Bush – “I honestly don’t know who I was running against, I told my staff that I didn’t want to know who my opponent was, since I decided to run based on the issues. I was proud that I didn’t run any negative ads in this election, for I think that we should move away from that, and focus more on the issues.”

Shari Jackson – “To what do you attribute the lack of media coverage in this Presidential Election?”

President Bush – “I try not to read the papers, or watch news programs on television. In fact, I’m pretty much out of the loop on anything related to domestic or foreign policy. Sometimes Condy [Rice] lets me sign stuff.”

During the press conference Ari Fleischer and Colin Powell were seen doubled over in laughter, barely able to speak.