jimmywellington.com

We know it’s coming, but what will it be called?

My pick is “As I Say, Lying.”  What do you think?

After Gov. Palin’s rambling, incoherent resignation speech, I began to wonder what it would have been like if she had given famous speeches throughout history. Here’s Part One: Gettysburg.

Hi Gettysburg. About eighty some odd years ago in the past, those brave forefathers of ours gave a precious gift to US. They gave (to us!) this amazing country of ours that we live and reside in, founded in God’s LIBERTY!! And also, it’s dedicated to the fact that all of us are created by God, who is so amazing, to be the same.

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Shortly after the premiere of their sitcom “My Name is Earl,” NBC introduced a marketing campaign so annoying that I had to change the radio station any time that it came across the airwaves. The premise of the advertisements was that we were supposed to be listening in on a normal conversation that several co-workers were having on their lunch break. I can’t recall the exact wording, but it went something like this:

“Have you guys seen that new show on NBC with Jason Lee?”

“You mean that guy from the movies? I love him!”

“Yeah, he’s so funny in this show! Let me tell you what the show is about…”

As you can see, this “conversation” is about as believable as the questions in Parade magazine. “I just love that Dennis Quaid! Can you tell me what he’s up to?” “I loved Baby Geniuses Two, is it too much to hope that number three is in the works?”

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Wouldn’t this be the best fortune cookie fortune ever?

“You will shortly discover that you have developed a fatal allergy to MSG”