Jimmy Wellington
The creator of The Fake news, comedy writer, gadfly. Everything here is original content (except for a few reblogs here and there)
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They’re always after me lucky bombs!
As more and more Americans hear about the plans to build a mosque on the hallowed, sanctified ground where the World Trade Center towers once stood, many become outraged and want to do something to stop it.
Every day since conservative commentators have made this story among the most talked about nationwide, throngs of protesters have descended upon lower Manhattan, many carrying signs, most surprisingly grammatically correct, that question the wisdom of building an Islamic place of worship so close to the site of the worst terrorist attack in American history. The number of protesters who arrive at the site is much smaller than the number who intend on protesting, according to opponents of the building.
You see, many of these patriots are traveling to “Ground Zero” and cannot locate the proposed building site.
“It’s easy to find Ground Zero, but we weren’t sure on what side of Ground Zero this travesty is being planned,” said Russell Garrison, factory worker and Glenn Beck viewer, who journeyed from Ohio to protest the construction. “We heard that they already had a giant Batman-like light that projected a giant star and crescent into the night sky, but we couldn’t see anything like that.”
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The Qu’ran is in here, I just know it!
While Barack Obama’s speech to America’s children has been written about in newspapers and discusses on news commentary shows, a Morristown man has been trying to raise awareness of an issue he feels is even more important.
“I’m not one of those crazy folk who thinks that Barack Obama is going to come out and openly attempt to indoctrinate our children with his Muslim socialist fascist views,” said Kyle Newton, a parent. “I think that he, and people like him, are going to be much more subtle.”
Newton believes he has figured it out, thanks to a tip from a friend, who was taking a world religion course at a local community college.
“He was telling me all about the different contributions that the arabs have made to our culture,” Newton said. “He’s a nice guy, so I figured I’d humor him and pretend to be interested. I could hardly hide my shock when he told me that the arabs invented algebra. I thought I had to turn to a reliable source before I believed that nonsense.”
