Hate Email for “Olsen Twins Gone Wild!”
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Hello, I am Mary-Kate Olsen, and I was seaching the web oneday, and I saw “the fake news” when I seached Latest news in google. This came up. I clicked it, because some things they make up are pretty funny! But, I saw that you have info on my sister and I. I don’t like that. Usually I ignore th ings like that! But this is out of hand. You made up “fake” qutes that our “parents” said. They are true. Nothing on your site is true. I am just politly asking if you could delete that bit of information. It is disgusting, and wrong. Please, and thankyou!
I WOULD LIKE A REPOND!
signed,
Mary-Kate
Our Reply
Hi Mary-Kate, this is Jimmy Wellington. I would like to talk to you about your libelous accusations. Everything on our site is 100% true! My IM is xxxxxxxxxxx on AIM and I’d love to interview you for my site.
I would also like a repond!
signed,
Jimmy Wellington
Mary-Kate actually took some time out of conquering the world to write back
Your Website Is not 100% true. And I cannot keep emailing you about this. It is false information. And I know you say things like that abotu everyone on your site, but sure, you can interview me, but then we have to stop emailing eachother because I cannot take this to my lawyer and go to court. I dont want to make that big of a deal out of it. And also, I might not do the interview with you because you seam business like in email, but when I first complained in email to you, I heard you gave my screen name away. That is not business like. Your friend Instant Messaged me and was being cruel, and rude. So I cannot work with you if you are going to give my screen name or email address away. Quickly like send me questions. But If I see that you post my E-mail address on your site, I will take this to court.
signed
Marykate
I obviously couldn’t leave well enough alone…
Marykate, Thanks for the repond. I appreciate it. I’m amazed that you would contact me directly, I mean isn’t that what you have lawyers for? I mean you keep talking about lawsuits and stuff, if I’m not mistaken, you haven’t gone to law school. Maybe your sister has. Give her a shout out for me, would you? I mean, you’re cute and stuff, but she’s like WAY hotter.
So you didn’t answer my question, do you want to do an interview with my site? I mean I’d want to be your boyfriend, but if that’s not possible an interview would be fantastic. Please respond.
Jimmy
Apparently talking about her and her sister having sex is ok, but saying her sister is hot is WAY over the line…
No! I cannot interview you! Telling me my sister is hott, then asking me out!? Thats NOT perfessional! goodbye! My sister and me, NEITHER of us went to lawschool! goodbye!
I attempted to repair the damage I caused
No, you don’t understand. I don’t want you to interview me. I want to interview you. Perhaps you didn’t realize that I was joking when I said that about your sister. Aren’t you twins? If not, you sure look alike. So if your sister is hot, wouldn’t that make you hot? Should I tell you that you’re ugly? Would that be better?
I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong! I want to be perfessional, but if I didn’t see that I thought you were hot, that wouldn’t be honest. Isn’t honesty always the best? That’s what my mom told me.
Please don’t say goodbye. You still have clothes here.
I actually scored an interview with (someone claiming to be) the pint-sized billionaire
I still have clothes there? what that about? yes me and my sister are twins, but we dont look alike! Well at least I dont think so! Ive been with her my whole life! ask me only FOUR questions. thats my limit. thats all you get for the interview and then im hanging up my pen “that means goodbye”
Here it is, screen names changes to protect my identity (and that psycho’s)
Jimmy Wellington: hi, this is jimmy wellington from The Fake News, you agreed to do an interview with me?
Mary Kate Olsen: Yes, but only 4 questions. And then I am out.
Jimmy Wellington: why only four?
Mary Kate Olsen: Because this is not a real interview. I did not sign anything.. so quick quick! only 4
Jimmy Wellington: the interview hasn’t started yet, but why is it so quick?
Mary Kate Olsen: just 4!
Mary Kate Olsen: now go!
Jimmy Wellington: why so sudden??
Jimmy Wellington: i need to research
Jimmy Wellington: that’s what journalists do
Mary Kate Olsen: research?
Mary Kate Olsen: uh.. i didnt sign anything.
Jimmy Wellington: if i can only get 4 questions, they have to be good ones
Jimmy Wellington: i never asked you to
Mary Kate Olsen: i am going back out soon unless u ask a quick first question
Mary Kate Olsen: i need to get going soon
Jimmy Wellington: where are you going, to have sex with nick lachey?
Jimmy Wellington: he’s married
Jimmy Wellington: that’s wrong
Mary Kate Olsen: exuse me?
Jimmy Wellington: i see you have an L, that must be for Lachey
Mary Kate Olsen: No!
Jimmy Wellington: then what does the L stand for?
Jimmy Wellington: lesbian?
Mary Kate Olsen: You are a freak
Jimmy Wellington: loch ness monster?
Jimmy Wellington: luscious jackson?
Mary Kate Olsen: It is for Lucsious.. my sister made it up.. she calls me that
Mary Kate Olsen: omg
Jimmy Wellington: that’s hot
Mary Kate Olsen: no just lucsous
Mary Kate Olsen: leave me alone
Jimmy Wellington: what do you call her?
Jimmy Wellington: wait, i’m being serious
Mary Kate Olsen: No mor einterview you sick man, say one more thing and I will report you to AOL
Mary Kate Olsen: you are gross.
Mary Kate Olsen: you are NOT a business man
Jimmy Wellington: well all right, have a nice day
Mary Kate Olsen: I call her twinkle
Mary Kate Olsen: BYE
Jimmy Wellington: wait
Jimmy Wellington: don’t go
Mary Kate Olsen: WHAT
Jimmy Wellington: i’ll be professional
Jimmy Wellington: i promise
Jimmy Wellington: i pinky swear
Mary Kate Olsen: It is too late. You mentioned sex, that is illigal to ask in an interview.
Mary Kate Olsen: If you didnt know !
Jimmy Wellington: have you read any of the playboy interviews?
Mary Kate Olsen: NO
Jimmy Wellington: or maxim
Mary Kate Olsen: I do not read playboy
Jimmy Wellington: i didn’t say you did
Mary Kate Olsen: NO
Jimmy Wellington: i thought maybe you’d heard of them
Mary Kate Olsen: I never said you did either, and no i have never even looked at one
Jimmy Wellington: sorry, i didn’t mean to offend you
Mary Kate Olsen: I have heard of them, but i dont read them
Jimmy Wellington: what is your greatest accomplishment?
Jimmy Wellington: that’s question number one
Mary Kate Olsen: Being so successful with my job and school.
Mary Kate Olsen: And getting eccepted to NYU!
Jimmy Wellington: what exactly is your job?
Mary Kate Olsen: accepted*
Mary Kate Olsen: Well, a designer, and actress, and i actually work directing now.
Jimmy Wellington: what have you directed?
Mary Kate Olsen: Well I havnt yet, but I might study it in College, and I worked on my TV show “so little time” with my sister.
Jimmy Wellington: did you direct any episodes?
Mary Kate Olsen: and the professionals, but we helped a LOT with that
Jimmy Wellington: or like maybe move the cameras around?
Jimmy Wellington: or do that thing where you hold your hands up and look throught them?
Mary Kate Olsen: what
Mary Kate Olsen: no
Jimmy Wellington: the directors do that
Jimmy Wellington: they look through their hands
Jimmy Wellington: for some reason
Mary Kate Olsen: We help with the script, and we help the cast out, and help the filming when it isnt our parts
Mary Kate Olsen: I got a chance to film once!
Jimmy Wellington: have you written any scripts?
Mary Kate Olsen: Well nto a whole script, but if there is something we would never say in real life the script supervisors totally let us change it
Jimmy Wellington: so you try to make it more realistic?
Mary Kate Olsen: Well, if they wanted us to say like “oh bananas!” we would say that sounds funny and ask if like we could say “oh geeze!!”
Jimmy Wellington: why would anyone want you to say oh bananas?
Mary Kate Olsen: not exsactly realistic.. because the scripts are always pretty realistic
Jimmy Wellington: i mean, i’ve never heard anyone say that
Jimmy Wellington: or is that your point
Mary Kate Olsen: well yeah pretty much!
Mary Kate Olsen: we found a few werid things in our scripts!
Jimmy Wellington: have you ran into any drug use in the industry
Jimmy Wellington: not on your part
Mary Kate Olsen: No.
Mary Kate Olsen: never
Jimmy Wellington: like people you work with
Mary Kate Olsen: Umm, not that I know of
Jimmy Wellington: like directors never seem more excited certain times, than others, like they’re more active?
Jimmy Wellington: or they might have a nosebleed
Mary Kate Olsen: Well sort of, but it is always just their personalities.
Jimmy Wellington: or a syringe hanging out of their arm?
Jimmy Wellington: yeah, i know how that is
Mary Kate Olsen: they have fun, but are very serious
Jimmy Wellington: oh ok
Mary Kate Olsen: Okay, only 2 more questions.
Jimmy Wellington: do you ever have any say in the costumes?
Mary Kate Olsen: and you have to delete me from your buddylist and eanything u have
Mary Kate Olsen: Yes!
Mary Kate Olsen: always!
Jimmy Wellington: like do you use your own clothes?
Mary Kate Olsen: we pick out what outfits we love!
Jimmy Wellington: do you keep them?
Mary Kate Olsen: and if we hated something they wouldnt make us wear it, but there are ecceptions!
Mary Kate Olsen: We only keep a few things.
Jimmy Wellington: what exceptions are there?
Mary Kate Olsen: But usually it gets returned to the company
Jimmy Wellington: what’s the most expensive thing you’ve kept?
Mary Kate Olsen: Like in our movie new york minute, we have to get under disguise, to hide from the bad guys, and we have to wear funky outfits, and we of course wore those because it was part of the scene and script
Jimmy Wellington: what was the disguise?
Jimmy Wellington: was it like the glassed and the fake nose?
Jimmy Wellington: glasses
Jimmy Wellington: my friend wore one of those once, and i had no idea who he was
Mary Kate Olsen: Well, It was just funky outfits. We had to like wear weird things., Ashley had to wear an afro, and I wore this weird blue outfit
Jimmy Wellington: it was crazy
Mary Kate Olsen: One more question.
Mary Kate Olsen: and you have to delte my name from your list
Mary Kate Olsen: and everythin on me
Mary Kate Olsen: because I cannot usually talk to people on it. I just use it for mail.
Jimmy Wellington: so there’s no chance of a followup interview?
Mary Kate Olsen: So one last question!!
Jimmy Wellington: or maybe an interview with you and ayour sister?
Mary Kate Olsen: No, sorry.. this is not like permenent! I did not sign peperworl
Jimmy Wellington: it would be an exclusive!\
Mary Kate Olsen: paperwork*
Jimmy Wellington: hmmmmm
Mary Kate Olsen: sorry, no
Jimmy Wellington: ok hold on
Mary Kate Olsen: Okay
Jimmy Wellington: that’s cool
Mary Kate Olsen: please hurry and ask one last thing
Mary Kate Olsen: I need to get going
Jimmy Wellington: have you heard of a countdown on the internet to when you and your sister turn 18?
Jimmy Wellington: like a website?
Mary Kate Olsen: No..
Jimmy Wellington: no?
Mary Kate Olsen: who would do that!?
Mary Kate Olsen: hehe
Jimmy Wellington: it was on tv
Jimmy Wellington: the other day
Mary Kate Olsen: Hmm..
Jimmy Wellington: i heard there’s a site that’s doing that
Mary Kate Olsen: Thats pretty amazingf
Jimmy Wellington: i mean, you’re 17, right?
Mary Kate Olsen: Devoted fans!
Mary Kate Olsen: hehe
Mary Kate Olsen: yes
Mary Kate Olsen: We turn 18 June 13th
Jimmy Wellington: when you turn 18, would you go to a strip club? I’m not being dirty, i know a lot of girls that do
Mary Kate Olsen: No,
Jimmy Wellington: my friend did when she turned 18
Jimmy Wellington: i was just curious
Mary Kate Olsen: ashley and I are not interested in that
Mary Kate Olsen: Ok
Jimmy Wellington: what if it was a male strip club?
Mary Kate Olsen: was that the last question?
Jimmy Wellington: like chippendales
Mary Kate Olsen: No, still we dont liek that
Jimmy Wellington: they have some good guys
Jimmy Wellington: you don’t like in shape, good looking guys?
Mary Kate Olsen: Thats alright, our boyfriends owuld hate it! hehe
Jimmy Wellington: who is your boyfriend?
Jimmy Wellington: i must have missed that on E!
Jimmy Wellington: is he famous?
Jimmy Wellington: or is it a regular guy
Mary Kate Olsen: You didnt know? hes not very famous, hes a directors son.
Mary Kate Olsen: And ashleys boyfriend is a football player.
Mary Kate Olsen: Matt Klaplan
Jimmy Wellington: brian urlacher?
Jimmy Wellington: ohhhhh
Mary Kate Olsen: No
Jimmy Wellington: you’re dating randall spielberg?
Mary Kate Olsen: no
Jimmy Wellington: his brother mackenzie?
Mary Kate Olsen: no
Jimmy Wellington: he’s kinda cute
Jimmy Wellington: who then?
Mary Kate Olsen: Well I dont like to tell anyone.
Jimmy Wellington: well i mean, doesn’t the media know?
Jimmy Wellington: they know everything
Mary Kate Olsen: Well some of the media.
Jimmy Wellington: like maria menounous
Jimmy Wellington: ?
Jimmy Wellington: from ET?
Mary Kate Olsen: It might be out now, but I want to try to keep it a secret
Jimmy Wellington: she knows everyone
Mary Kate Olsen: Ill just say he has a twin sister
Jimmy Wellington: i heard she even knows the president’s girlfriend
Jimmy Wellington: oops, i wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about that
Jimmy Wellington: are you going to vote when you turn 18?
Mary Kate Olsen: Umm. Okay nice talkign with you, bye
Mary Kate Olsen: Yes
Mary Kate Olsen: I am going to vote,
Jimmy Wellington: for who?
Jimmy Wellington: bush
Jimmy Wellington: ?
Mary Kate Olsen: I do not know yet
Mary Kate Olsen: Not bush
Jimmy Wellington: you don’t like bush?
Jimmy Wellington: why not?
Mary Kate Olsen: I like him, but nothing personal!
Jimmy Wellington: he’s the president
Mary Kate Olsen: I dont like what he represents.
Jimmy Wellington: such as”?
Mary Kate Olsen: I liked gore.
Jimmy Wellington: i don’t really like violence
Jimmy Wellington: ohhhhh
Jimmy Wellington: al gore
Jimmy Wellington: i get it
Mary Kate Olsen: Sorry, thisdiscussion is over, I just prefer othe rpeople, I do like bush though
Jimmy Wellington: sorry
Jimmy Wellington: why is it over?
Jimmy Wellington: do you have to go meet your b/f?
Mary Kate Olsen: Because I am not a politiosian
Jimmy Wellington: i’m just trying to do my job
Jimmy Wellington: me neither
Jimmy Wellington: i’m a journalist
Mary Kate Olsen: You have no job!
Jimmy Wellington: how dare you
Mary Kate Olsen: you work for the “FAKE news!”
Jimmy Wellington: so
Jimmy Wellington: you have fake breasts
Jimmy Wellington: there i said it
Mary Kate Olsen: No I do not!
Jimmy Wellington: that’s the rumor
Mary Kate Olsen: Well dont be so goulable! I have never gotten implants! That is so not true!
Jimmy Wellington: i heard you went to Britney Spears’ plastic surgeon
Mary Kate Olsen: And I have met britney spears 3 tines, and she never got them either
Jimmy Wellington: so how did she grow so big, so fast?
Mary Kate Olsen: It is the truth
Mary Kate Olsen: She did not.
Mary Kate Olsen: It is called a ownderbra
Jimmy Wellington: a what?
Mary Kate Olsen: a WONDERBRA
Jimmy Wellington: ohhhhh
Mary Kate Olsen: Okay, bye
Jimmy Wellington: wait
Jimmy Wellington: don’t go
Mary Kate Olsen: dont publish this
Mary Kate Olsen: i didnt sign anything
Jimmy Wellington: publish what
Mary Kate Olsen: this interview
Mary Kate Olsen: do not put it on a site or anything
Jimmy Wellington: would you say that you have the best hot pink in the country?
Mary Kate Olsen: exuse me?
Jimmy Wellington: that’s your screen name, right?
Jimmy Wellington: hot pink
Jimmy Wellington: so would you say you’re the best
Mary Kate Olsen: It is illigal to put this on a webdite since I didnt not sign anything
Jimmy Wellington: with that screen name
Mary Kate Olsen: I am not the best.. thats a cute color thats all
Jimmy Wellington: i mean there’s like at least 122 other hot pinks on aol
Mary Kate Olsen: Well I like the color
Jimmy Wellington: why are you the best
Jimmy Wellington: ?
Mary Kate Olsen: I am not!
Jimmy Wellington: i think you are
Mary Kate Olsen: Thats real swet, but you are not a sweet person
Jimmy Wellington: i think you’re the only hot pink that i’d want
Jimmy Wellington: i am
Mary Kate Olsen: you said rude things about me
Jimmy Wellington: i’m as sweet as equal
Mary Kate Olsen: i do not have fake boobs
Jimmy Wellington: or sweet and low
Jimmy Wellington: that’s what i heard
Jimmy Wellington: i didn’t make it up
Mary Kate Olsen: Well you heard wrong
Jimmy Wellington: justin timberlake told me
Mary Kate Olsen: you are under arrest If you use this interview on your site
Jimmy Wellington: under arrest?
Jimmy Wellington: for what?
Mary Kate Olsen: Yes
Jimmy Wellington: would you handcuff me?
Mary Kate Olsen: For publishing without me signing
Jimmy Wellington: and search me?
Mary Kate Olsen: No, We will take this to court
Jimmy Wellington: like, the people’s court?
Mary Kate Olsen: I did not sign the paperwork, and hense that means you could go to jail if you put this on a site
Jimmy Wellington: go to jail?
Mary Kate Olsen: Like, the court of law
Jimmy Wellington: uh oh
Jimmy Wellington: that court?
Jimmy Wellington: damn
Mary Kate Olsen: So, please dont publish this
Jimmy Wellington: so, why do you have so much info on hilary duff on your profile?
Jimmy Wellington: is she your “boyfriend”?
Mary Kate Olsen: Because shes a cute little girl, and No one would think it is me if I use it. And, also I am a fan of hers, we have repct towards eachother.
Jimmy Wellington: oh yeah?
Jimmy Wellington: interesting
Jimmy Wellington: well, it’s been nice talking to you
Mary Kate Olsen: If I see this on your site, you iwll go to prison
Mary Kate Olsen: Okay
Jimmy Wellington: thanks for doing the interview
Mary Kate Olsen: You too
Mary Kate Olsen: wait
Jimmy Wellington: i’ll talk to you later
Mary Kate Olsen: DELETE me from you r buddy list
Mary Kate Olsen: no you wont
Jimmy Wellington: what picture do you want me to use for the interview?
Mary Kate Olsen: I have a new screen name, now that you know htis one
Jimmy Wellington: i’m sure you do
Mary Kate Olsen: YUO WONT USE THIS INTERVIEW
Jimmy Wellington: i need a picture
Jimmy Wellington: of course not
Jimmy Wellington: but if i did
Mary Kate Olsen: you wont
Jimmy Wellington: i’d need a picture
Mary Kate Olsen: would u want to go to prison?
Jimmy Wellington: yeah, i love prison
Jimmy Wellington: the guys there are so nice
Jimmy Wellington: well, have a nice night
Jimmy Wellington: i’ll let you know when the interview goes up
Jimmy Wellington: bye!
Mary Kate Olsen: IT WONT
Mary Kate Olsen: i am callign the cops
Jimmy Wellington: goodnight
Jimmy Wellington: have fun
Jimmy Wellington: bye
Mary Kate Olsen: you are banned from AOL for 97 hours
Jimmy Wellington: oh shit
Jimmy Wellington: i’m sooooo scared
Jimmy Wellington: bye bye
Mary Kate Olsen signed off at 6:08:59 PM.